Show and Tell . . . The Middle Wife!

December 2, 2010 § 3 Comments

I received a very funny story in my emails this morning!

The ‘Middle Wife’ by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher

I’ve been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade classroom a few years back.

When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they’re welcome.


Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.


She holds up a snapshot of an infant.. ‘This is Luke, my baby brother, and I’m going to tell you about his birthday.’


‘First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom’s stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord.’


She’s standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I’m trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement.


‘Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, ‘Oh,Oh,Oh, Oh!’ Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans.. ‘She walked around the house for, like an hour, ‘Oh, oh, oh!’ (Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.)


‘My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn’t have a sign on the car like the Domino’s man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this.’ (Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.)


‘And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!’ (This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming water flowing away. It was too much!)


‘Then the middle wife starts saying ‘push, push,’ and ‘breathe, breathe’. They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom’s play-center, (placenta) so there must be a lot of toys inside there. When he got out, the middle wife spanked him for crawling up in there.’


Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat. I’m sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it’s show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another ‘ Middle Wife’ comes along.

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What is the volume of your budgie?

November 29, 2010 § Leave a comment

Sometimes there are people in life who are destined to be teachers – they just have that ability to engage with students and really help them to absorb information! And it’s amazing how many weird and wonderful methods they use!

My boss has been in the teaching profession for over 40 years. His teaching style is mad to say the least! And it doesn’t work for every child. However, for the majority of children, a wacky approach has led to some excellent results from the children he teaches. So here are a few of his methods that maybe you can modify!!

– get the children to take their mum’s heart rate, then mum has to do an embarrassing two laps of the crowded office and have their heart rate taken again. This makes for a good graph!

– make sure they look up every bizarre animal they come up against on google images . . . Remember that boys like the gruesome pictures! This is a vocabulary building exercise!

– ask each student to find out the volume of their pet no matter how oddly they look at you when you ask the volume of their budgie!

– most important of all, jump up and down and shout “hooray” when they grasp a concept!

Okay, so maybe this approach isn’t everybody’s cup of tea, but the principles are the same: engaging the student’s interest is the key. And maybe sometimes they need a little bit of oddity to help them remember a concept!

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